Let’s put Blu on a schedule

Arggggggggh! My son has become a little bit of a terror at night. He’s cranky, loud (as in if we had a noisy generator going, the neighbors two miles away would still be able to hear him), and plain unsettled. I think he’s over stimulated. There’s too much going on around him. I don’t have a night time routine. Everything I’ve read says babies need some sort of routine. However, we just haven’t been able to stick to one. We tried once before and it worked. It was a pain to get him used to it, but it was great while it lasted. Unfortunately, when we went out of town, things went haywire. Now, it’s time to bring on the routine or put him on some kind of schedule.

Here’s what I’d like. I would like him to have at least one good nap during the day. Two, if the first nap is short (an hour or less). However, the second nap can start no later than 3:00PM. I’d like to be able to take him to the park on some evenings so he can get some fresh air. Finally, I’d like to get him in bed at 7:30PM…8:30PM at the latest. He’s a baby, what is he doing staying up so late? Also, in terms of his eating – he needs to do better in terms of solids. For all these to work, I’m going to need everyone on board.

Oh, and in the interest of full disclosure, I think the reason we haven’t been too hard on him having a routine is because we ourselves would have to be on a routine as well. For him to be in bed by 7:30 would mean that we would need to be home by 7:00PM at the latest, give him a bath, read to him and then put him in bed. Also, I can’t have CNN on low while I’m trying to put him to sleep. I know… what was I thinking? This would also mean no longer being able to go out to dinner as a family, etc. Anyway, I’ve learnt my lesson and I am all for a routine now. Lack of sleep is whack.

My Vegan Baby

So Blu doesn’t eat any animal products. And now that the laughter has died down, let me explain. I am not comfortable feeding my baby any animal products. I have been advised to feed him eggs, chicken, meat, etc. No can do. At least not before he turns one. And now the obvious question – am I a vegan? I wish I were but while I am gradually, painstakingly trying to reduce my own animal product consumption, I am trying to delay his consumption of said products for as long as possible. Seriously speaking, I am afraid, very afraid of what we’re eating in this country. I haven’t seen any of the scary stuff that I’ve heard people talk about. However, from what I understand about how poultry and beef are processed, I wish I had been raised vegetarian. Vegan, in fact. It really is scary.

How did this go from Blu to me? Typical. Anyway, so please for the next few months, don’t nobody try to feed my son any animal products. For real, I'm afraid someone is going to try to sneak behind my back and give him something on my contraband list. Let’s give him at least one year of ‘safe’ foods, okay? After that one year, we’ll see if we can go two, then three, then four. Maybe at four, he’ll decide he doesn’t want to eat meat and then he can convince his mom and dad to leave it alone. I know a little boy that did. Blu, please help us.

He said Mama and other happenings

Just this morning as I was getting ready to go to work, I heard Nanny #3 teaching Blu to say Mama. I've never asked her to do that so I thought "good woman" and went about my normal business. Next thing, as I was putting on my shoes, I heard him say "Mama". Oh, joy! My boy done did it! He said Mama! I was thrilled but that feeling I was hoping for wasn't quite there because I know he's sounding off. He doesn't mean it for real. Still, I'm glad he knows how. I'll be happier when he says it to me and knows what it means.

Other than that, I've started thinking about his first birthday. I was hoping we'd move by the time his first birthday comes around. But alas, with the market the way it is, I doubt that we'll be moving any time soon. Since our place is not conducive to the kind of party I want (with animals and all) I'll have to think of something else. Meanwhile, I've made several edits to my imaginary invitee list. I am uninviting people that haven't come to see him. Haba, one whole year? Forget that. Anyone that hasn't visited him won't be invited. I'll have to tell a 'friend' who already said she's bringing two kids if I have a party.

Boy, do this kid wear me out. I am physically tired just trying to keep up with the little guy. And he can't even walk. He loves his freedom and so every once in a while when he's tired of being held, I'll put him down and let him to do his thing. The only thing is that I can't turn my back when he's roaming the grounds. The other day, he tried to stick his finger in an electrical outlet and before that, I think he licked my shoe. Double ewwww! I washed his mouth out. Three times. Can't believe he'd do such a thing.

My New Obssession

So, I've lost like 15 pounds since my woe-is-me-I-need-to-lose-weight-after-having-a-baby post. However, I keep adding twenty pounds to my original goal. The plan was to get back to my PPW(pre-pregnancy weight). Now that I'm almost there, I have decided I want to go back to my wedding-day weight. It's funny, when I was at that weight, I was working out furiously to lose even more weight. My trainer at the time told me that was the thinnest I would probably ever be in my life. Tufiakwa! God forbid, I thought to myself at the time. He said that after fasting, working out, starving and dieting for their wedding day, most women never get back to that size. Well, how 'bout we see about that?

Anyhow, I have decided that I want better for myself than my PPW. I want to come close to my wedding day size. I don't think I'll go lower than that though. The thing that blows my mind was that there was a time I never thought I'd be a few cupcakes and rice dinners away from my PPW. Now that I know I can do it, I'm setting bigger goals for myself. DH says that once I "gba were" something, he knows better than to get in my way. So, this is my new obssession. I have been working out four days a week, running harder than I've ever run (willingly), and eating okay some days and off the plan on other days (girl scout cookies, anyone?). It's all good.

About the running, it's amazing to me that I'm able to do it at all. I have always HATED running. Thank you, God. And also thanks to DH for making me run all those days I'd rather have schlumped on the sofa watching mindless tv.

My first Valentine's Day with BOB

This is our first Valentine’s Day with baby on board. This is the first Valentine’s Day that we haven’t had plans. The first Valentine’s Day with no late night after-work dinner. The first Valentine’s Day without flowers? The first Valentine’s Day without a gift? I don’t know. DH hasn’t given me anything yet. No flowers delivered to my job. For the past seven years, I’ve had flowers delivered. At first it was embarrassing. Everybody was like na wa for this your toaster o. I was embarrassed but definitely feeling the love. Year after year, I got something at work and then again when I got home. After a while, the mailroom guys started saying things like see you this time next year. Now, I’m sitting here expecting a lil’ something wondering if I’ll have to make the decision about whether to leave my flowers at work or enjoy them at home?

Maybe this year is supposed to be different. I don’t know. The other day, despite the frigid weather, I took Blu out to buy DH’s gift. I never really bought him anything on V-Day. I’m a me chick. I don’t usually do for him. I felt I owed him something because he’s been nice and I haven’t really reciprocated the niceness. I planned to leave it by his bedside table to surprise him in the morning when he woke up. Instead, the me inside surfaced and said, “How about you just hold on to see what he has planned for you?” I know, that’s not the business.

Maybe this year is indeed supposed to be different. Maybe I’m supposed to be the one doing the toasting. Maybe I’ll give him his gift at dinner and buy some tickets to see Ms. Scott. Surprise him like he surprised me with Stevie tickets. How do grown folks do Valentine’s Day? Is this what I should be expecting the rest of my life? Maybe it’s temporary until Blu gets out of the house. WooHOO! 18 more years of this. Nice!

I'm Just Big

So the other day, this girl that should know better asks if I have a bun in the oven. Bun ke? What do you mean bun? She points to her belly (which excuse me, is not the flattest in the world and I’m not being mean). I said: “No, I’m just big.”

I’m just amazed at how unupset I am these days at people thinking I’m either pregnant or still pregnant. Believe it or not but just a couple of months ago, this guy that I hardly ever see at work was at a meeting where I was presenting. When I went to sit down next to him, he asked when my baby was due. I looked at him straight in the eyes and said: “I had my son months ago.” And I was totally not embarrassed. Dude was though. We spent the rest of the meeting exchanging notes. Him apologizing and me telling him it was okay. Really. He totally didn’t upset me.

I really don’t blame all these people. Everyone that has had a baby lately has come out looking better than they did before they got pregnant. Not just the celebs. Even regular people I know. For some reason, I seem to be struggling. I have accepted that it will take me a little longer than I had originally thought. I almost accepted it when a friend told me that I will never get down to my regular size. Almost. Thank God for DH who was there when I hung up. He totally told me otherwise. Thankfully.

Nanny Number Two

Our first Nanny has gone bye bye. One day in December (after receiving her Christmas bonus, son's birthday and Christmas gifts), as I handed her printed schedules for the next two months, she told me that she wouldn't be here past January 19th. What!!! Why? She said something came up and she would need to leave. She wasn't very specific.

After getting past the shock and hurt and almost begging, I put all efforts into looking for Nanny Number Two. It's amazing, you go through this phase where you want to keep the first nanny at all costs because you feel you've got such a great thing going. If it's more money, tell us how much we can pay you. You make sure it wasn't anything you did - the printed schedules, your son getting bigger and thus heavier to carry. At one point, I just had to stop all the madness and say enough's enough.

Needless to say, for the past month, I've been trying to find my Nanny Number Two. This time around, with the experience of having a very good nanny - relatively - I had a better idea of what my family needed. That, and with a more attractive package and two weeks paid vacation we began our search. We interviewed many on the phone, called in fewer for interviews and finally, chose someone that had interviewed with us before but came in a close second to Nanny Number One.

We decided to give her a test period and if it didn't work out, we'd try daycare. After bringing her in a few times during #1's off-days to see how/if she would work out, I am not so sure. The pluses - She's got experience, she's good with the baby i.e. she reads him well, sings to him etc. She's also quite stable. At least I'm hoping with maturity comes stability. There are other pluses that I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I like.

The minus - She's been late every single time. Almost. Her first day, she was five minutes late. Her second day, an hour maybe? Apparently, she got lost and by the time she found her way, I was already at work. Her third day, twenty minutes late. Her fourth day, she was an hour early. I would so love to work with her but we've got to get the time thing right.

How Mama Got Her Groove Back..Kinda

For the first time since Blu's birth, I had my first real big people's outing. As we were getting ready, I pointed out to DH that this was my first real big people's outing and he found that hard to believe. What about this person's event, he said, I was like that was a BABY shower! What about that person's thing, he said, and I replied: "YOU went and said you were representing us, remember?" Mae's 30th was my first real people's outing in a long time without a belly - yes o, my country self went to a few big people's events when I was expecting Blu. Anyway, there was no way I was going to miss out on this here gig. My friend Dolly had been hyping it forever saying there was going to be a soul singer, it was going to be in this new lounge, bla, bla, bla.

Thank God for sisters who agree to babysit, we had a reliable babysitter for Blu and we were all set to go. Not before he displayed for us well well. My boy did all sortsa things that prevented us from leaving the house on time. We finally got there and it felt so good to be out with my crowd. In no time, I had a resfreshing beverage in my hands and was enjoying the ambiance. Dolly and co really put their foot in it - they transformed the lounge big time with Mae's theme. I know who to call for my next gig.

The music was good, the soul singer was excellent, the beverages were a welcome change from what I've been used to, but two hours later, I started missing my Blu and mama had to go be with her baby. I heard the party was on until 3 in the morning and I missed out on a lot of major moments. All the same, I enjoyed the little time I spent at the party. Note to self: I's a mama now and I can't hang like I used to. At least not right now.

Nanny vs. Daycare

Once again we are doing the nanny-daycare-nanny-daycare dance. What's it going to be? I was almost settling into the idea of Blu going to the daycare at DH's job when an opportunity came to interview a few nannies. After narrowing it down to two potential candidates, I think we might be getting a nanny but I'm not sure. I still need to think through it. I'm all about the details sometimes. I'm thinking about things such as will she eat our food or bring hers in? This is a somewhat valid concern because we never have a fully stocked fridge being that I put grocery shopping at the back of my to do list. Should she cook for us? They both offered to and I said no, that's okay. I was immediately reprimanded by a friend who said I should have left it open.

One of the candidates wanted to know if it was okay to bring her 4-year old with her. I'm not opposed to it but can I get sued if her daughter gets injured ? (not a very valid concern but I did think about it) Will the little girl be noisy on the days that I have to work from home? This particular nanny knows CPR and can drive so that definitely outweighs any cons associated with bringing her daughter. As for the other nanny, I really, really liked her. There's something about an older woman that just screams mother, caring, stable. She may not be, who knows? But I really liked her just on sight. One thing though, she doesn't speak too much English. Is that even correct? She didn't speak much during the interview and I'm wondering if we'll have communication issues. Again, I liked her because she seems stable and I'm looking for someone who is willing to work with us for a few years. I want someone who's going to love on him almost like his Mama (my term) and be happy doing it. The ideal candidate would be someone like our dada who was just so sweet bringing us puff puff every morning on her way to work. My mom says she still asks after us.

As far as daycare goes, it won't be that inconvenient should we choose to go that route. DH will take Blu with him everyday since the daycare is in his building. However, we would have to get him ready in the morning (and we are so not morning people ourselves) and there are days when we would almost break our necks trying to pick him up before the 6pm or else deadline. Of course the daycare environment is somewhat stable in the sense that they won't quit on you (usually). I'm just not sure about the loving part - the babies stay in their cots all day long and are not held or cuddled much.

Right now, I am loving the freedom having a nanny would give us. We could go out to eat/play/whatever without Blu; I could go get my nails done on my way home from work; when my sister visits we could leave our babies with the nanny and just take off! It all seems exciting now but all of this is dependent on finding the right dada for Blu.

Mama Gotta Work

In a few days, I will be kissing my son (and DH - let me not forget my dear DH) goodbye and heading off to the airport. I so hate it. I so dread it. But Mama gotta work. So soon after getting off maternity leave, I'm already leaving my child. How's that for a welcome back? Speaking of my welcome back, it's so funny how those pregnancy magazines prepared me for my first day back. I'd read so many articles on how to 'ease' back in, how to show you've still got it, and how to deal with co-workers and bosses who think you've just come back from a loooooooong vacation in Hawaii. Those articles sure prepared me for what I was about to face. But nothing, NOTHING could have prepared me for my boss saying : "How do you feel about traveling?" on my FIRST day back.

Excuse me, how the (many, many bad words) am I supposed to feel? How about I feel like quitting but need to be responsible and not do anything that drastic? I was supposed to travel my first week but put it off until now. I'm trying to get a positive outlook about it all. It would be hard to spend just one night away from Blu. I doubt that I'll get any sleep. But Mama's gotta work. And Mama's decided to do a good job while she's at it. No point in half stepping. I done entered it so I might as well do my best.

War of the Paci(fier)

From day one we've been ambivalent about whether or not we would use pacifiers. I did not have any particular opinion for or against but the people around me had definitive opinions about whether or not to introduce them to infants. Those who were for pacis thought they were a lifesaver and like visa (or Mastercard) they wouldn't go anywhere without it - ROCKS (as in dry joke). Anyway, those that were against pacis warned us not to even start because there would be no end to it - it would be hard to wean him off it if we ever started.

Our decision was made for us when one of the lovely nurses at the hospital wheeled in our little man and there he was with a paci in his mouth totally going for it! Chei! How for do? From that day on, we figured we'd be a paci family. My mom, by the way, isn't against pacis so that kinda sorta made me feel good. Now, not only are we a paci family, we are a very specific type of paci family. In short, Blu only likes one paci. Don't ever give him any other kind of paci, you would deeply, deeply regret it. The paci he loves is the same one he was given at the hospital. There must be some kind of jazz (African magic) in it.

So, we started out with three of these lovely pacis and after a couple of episodes - one fell down in a public bathroom and another fell down in the parking lot - we are down to one. In a panic, I started looking for this paci everywhere ...well, just Target, but I didn't find it there. I looked closely at the last paci standing and noticed that there was a phone number on it in very small print. Thank God for Marketing geniuses! That had to be a Marketing person that campaigned to have the toll-free number in front of the paci. I dialed that number and they referred me to their website. I take that back, that Marketing person was no genius - why not just put the webbie on the paci if that's the sole means of distribution? I digress. I have now ordered three additional pacis and can't wait for them to get here. We were out today and I kept holding on to the paci for dear life just in case it dropped from his mouth. God help us! I know, I know, I really should buy one of them paci attachers, right? Or perhaps even wean him off completely? The former is a lot easier to do so as soon as I get a moment, I'll go look for an attacher.

What Do You Do All Day?

People often ask, "What do you do all day?" when they find out I am on maternity leave. Silly question. What else is there to do? I take care of my baby all day, init? What else could I be doing? People that ask that question seem to think that I am sitting pretty eating bonbons and watching tv. While I must admit to having watched more than a few Bridezillas, What Not to Wear, Whose Wedding Is It Anyway, and just about any other show on WE tv or Style Network, I am all tved out at this point and there is a lot more to this phase in my life than leisurely living.

Seriously, I don't know how full-time stay-at-home moms (SAHMs) do it. I get so tired trying to juggle everything! There's always something to do. Whereas at work, my nine to five, I get some downtime and a lunch break on top of that. I just had an epiphany - the difference between moms who work at home and outside the home is that one has a start time and an end time. A nine to five can be just that - from 9am to 5pm. Not so much when you work at home. Not that I am complaining - I get to be with my son Blu all day long and his dad is jealous that he can't do the same. It's a blessing and a privilege to be able to spend this time at home with my son. Apart from the obvious bonding, I get to see him smile (which is still rare at this stage), hear him make the funniest noises, and decide which of his baffs he is going to wear that day before he gets too big and outgrows it.

I am really not looking forward to going back to work at this point. Well, sometimes I really really want to go back. It would be nice to get away from the expectations people place on a wanabee SAHM. I feel bad when my house is in a mess and people come over. Surely, they must be thinking, "What does she do all day?" Also, shouldn't there be food - cooked food - in the house if I am home? I think it is rather expected and sometimes I just want to go back to work so that I don't feel as guilty for not having it together. It is safe to say that I couldn't a full time SAHM. I am not cut out for housework. I would love to be a SAHM but don't nobody expect me to cook and clean. If we ever decided that I would stay home, my job would be to hang out with Blu - feed him, dress him, take him to the park and on play dates. I can do laundry and cook a few times a week but that's the most I can commit to.

Been So Long

Today is my first day back after being away from blogsville for such a long time. It's going to be fun catching up with all my favorite blogs. I am also curious about new ones from comments that were left on my earlier posts. I just hope I'll have enough time to go through them and that it wouldn't be an overwhelming task.

While I was gone, I had me a baby. Yes, I am somebody's mommy! Hard to believe but there he is sleeping less than three feet away from me - my bundle of all things exciting. My life has taken a 360 turn and I'm a different me. A less selfish me. A bigger boneded me (lost 20 still have another 12-15 or maybe 20 more to lose). A more serious me (I haven't laughed at other people's foolishness in a while). A less uptight me (hey, how for do, he peed on me this morning!). I am slowing getting used to the concept of we versus me. It's going to be an exciting ride. My life done changed and in more ways than one, it's for the better.