Telling my side of the story

WARNING: I'm not that deep.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Things to do when you’re looking for love or hitting the refresh button on your current love life

** I am no expert. This is what I would say if I were asked for my honest opinion.**

Get a relooking
There’s nothing like losing a few extra pounds to kick-start a love campaign. This is not about going from a size sixteen to a size zero. This is about giving yourself a relooking if you haven’t had one in a while or if you think you need one. Relooking is French for makeover. It’s my belief that when you look good, you feel good. When you feel good, there’s some positive energy around you that draws people to you. You can always tell when a woman knows she looks good, she’s confident and that’s very attractive. Update that wardrobe and be happy – very happy – with what you see before you walk out of the door. So, if you’re looking for love or need to hit that refresh button, go ahead and do what you have to do in that area.

Get interesting
So, what’s interesting about you? What do you spend the majority of your time doing? What are you involved in? Don’t be one-dimensional. Take up some hobbies, go out with friends, join a massage club, volunteer, frequent your house of worship, become a member of your library, become a mentor, go hiking, try rock climbing. Do something. Just don’t do one thing and one thing only. That’s plain old boring and who likes boring? If you’re already in a relationship, this is a yes-yes (as opposed to no-no). Pick up new and interesting things OUTSIDE of your relationship so that you have something new to talk about.

Get out
Don’t stay home all the time. Go somewhere. Find something to do. Definitely don’t sit around waiting for him to show up at your doorstep. Sure, if you think he might come in the shape of the FedEx guy. (Nothing against FedEx guys, just saying no one really comes up to your doorstep these days). Go out and visit friends in another part of town or go out and get your nails done. Just get out of the house. Connect with the world. It’s all part of being multi-dimensional.

Get friendly
Be open to new friendships. Make friends with people in your immediate surroundings – work, church, gym, wherever. If you’ve seen someone more than once. Actually, three or more times, introduce yourself and just make conversation. They kind of know you anyway.

Get online
Three words. Match. Dot. Com. I can’t say it enough. I know three married couples that met online. Yes, they are Naija. Why are we so close minded? If you don’t like going out, go online. What’s the harm? You are indoors, in your comfort zone. Dangerous? So is meeting someone randomly at the gas station. These days, you have to be very careful but I think the online space can be used to make conversation and to prepare yourself for off-line dating. Just see what’s out there. Okay, if you’re not ready for online dating sites, definitely be on facebook. Hi-5 is kind of old now but use facebook to re-connect with people you already know or to meet people that your friends know. Oh and by the way, definitely have a cute picture on your profile. None of that question mark nonsense if you’re looking. And definitely don’t be caught with any crazy pictures online. If you’re looking kind of questionable in someone’s picture, be sure to ask them kindly to take it off or at least remove your name from the tag. If you’re already in a relationship, don’t go online looking for relationships. That’s a no-no.

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OpenID goodnaijagirl said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:55 PM  
OpenID goodnaijagirl said...

Ugh, can you delete the previous comment? Too many errors for me to bear! What I meant to say is

Great post!

This is stuff I know but it bears repeating, especially since I'm definitely looking for love and I've been plain lazy when it comes to making myself the best possible "catch" that I could be.

1:57 PM  
Blogger Naapali said...

Ms. G; did not realize you had the "Dear Annie" perfected. Nice one, sha.

3:40 PM  
Blogger Gbemi's Piece said...

@ goodnaijagirl - We (including me) all know these things but I think I needed to put it on paper (or in this case, online) just as a reminder. I am a serious JJC - I'll try to delete your former comment but I didn't notice the errors you mentioned. Maybe I read through it too fast. I'll go over it line by line. Just kidding!

@ Naapali - I can be a "Dear Annie" when asked for advice. Except that in real life I am less brash, more tactful, and omit certain things.

9:41 AM  
Blogger Uzezi said...

interesting. funny how u put it. click the refresh button on ur love life.

thanx for stopping by me.

12:09 PM  
Blogger Gbemi's Piece said...

@ Uzezi - I was entertained to say the least.

9:24 AM  

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