Telling my side of the story

WARNING: I'm not that deep.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Today I pulled out my Spanx

It started out as another normal work day. One I knew was coming. Couldn't get out of it. Last night, I went to bed without getting my outfit ready for the following day. If I don't go to bed knowing what to wear, the next (work) day somehow starts off all wrong. Somehow, I woke up this morning knowing exactly what to wear. Whew! I just gained 15 minutes. Feels good. I have only worn this suit once to work. That time, I was going to be videotaped so I couldn't monkey around. Today, I had to put my best foot forward. I had a presentation to make. With new people on my team, I couldn't play around. Oh boy, do I dread and love making presentations. I dread them more than I love them though. I love them because that's my opportunity to shine, show my stuff, show that I'm worth every penny and then some. Some of my confidence comes from the way I look. If I look good, I feel good. I had to wear that suit. For some reason, I felt, I not only needed to wear this suit, I had to pull out the Spanx for that extra oomph. This was a Spanx-worthy occasion. I pulled out the Spanx to get those clean Tyra lines. I wore my Spanx and felt killer in my suit.

Time for my presentation to begin and I'm all set. I have all my ducks in a row. As usual, I start strong and towards the middle fall flat. Sometimes, even I don't know what I'm talking about. Sad. I am probably my biggest critic. Constantly making mental notes of where I'm doing well and where I need to improve. Why does this keep happening to me? What can I do? I have to save myself if I'm going to make it.

By the time my 4 o'clock meeting rolls around - the one I dread because I'm leading people with gazillion years of experience - I pull myself together and give it my best. This time around, I want to make sure that I have everything in place. I don't leave anything to chance. I get to the conference room early just in case something goes wrong. I can get there no more than 15 minutes early because conference rooms are booked solid these days. I run up the stairs with my room confirmation printed out just in case I need to kick someone out. I just refuse to take the elevator when I have legs. Get there, no one's in there so my conference room confirmation is not needed. Cool. I turn on my laptop - realize I left my battery pack downstairs but I won't panic, this meeting's only an hour-long. I look everywhere for a network cable and there's none. I still have time. I run to my office, grab the cable and my battery pack while I'm there. Leave a note on my door stating where I am just in case I am needed. I already have my cell phone upstairs but just in case I need to be pulled away, I let my team know where I am. It's good practice. I run back up and hook the cable to the wall. Alas, it's too short. What do I do? It's 7 mins to time and my meeting notes are not yet projected. I hate this. I run back down to Melissa since she had an extra-long blue cord at our meeting this morning. She says it's with Danielle in the second floor conference room where we met this morning. I dash down there - still taking the stairs. I see through the window that the blue cord is plugged in to someone's computer. No point asking for it so against company policy (for real it's not allowed) I raid one of the conference rooms on the 4th floor and find a nice long gray cord. Unfortunately, it's tangled in one of those silly webs that cords play. I untangle it after many long treacherous seconds and finally head towards my conference room. What a waste. I didn't get a chance to go over my notes. I get there and someone's already there waiting for me. I hook up to the projector. Look for my conference call-in number and feel embarrassed asking Lilly if she remembers it. It's my meeting I should know it. As soon as she starts to say it, my computer's hooked up to the network and I can see the number. I tell her not to worry. It's 4 o'clock. I dial in and we're the 5th callers on the line. I'm always the 1st caller. "Hello, this is Gbemi and Lilly, John and Sam will be joining us in a little while. Who's on the line?" How lame. I have to do better next time.