Telling my side of the story

WARNING: I'm not that deep.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Happy Birthday Maman!

Today is my moms birthday. My beautiful moms turned 59 today. DH and I stayed up until 1:00am to call her since she's seven or eight hours ahead of us. She screamed, she was so delighted. She was tying her gele, getting ready to go to work when we called. I wish I could be in Kigali celebrating with her. My moms has four girls and each of us has shown her love. My younger sister sent her this note that really sums up how we all feel. Dunno how she did it but everything B wrote,
I second.

As you celebrate your birthday today I will start by thanking God for your life, for blessing you with family and friends that you love, for the gift of good health, success in your career and most importantly the abundant blessings he has bestowed upon you.

I pray that the Lord will continue to guide you and bless you in all that you do. As you prepare for your retirement (much deserved) I pray that you will be inspired to spend that time doing what you absolutely love, what makes you happy and most importantly what you find fulfilling.

You have been a great mother not just to me and my sisters but to countless others. Your patience, your love, your sacrifices, your encouragement, your support and your strength, your honesty, are just a few characteristics that make you who you are. Thank you so much for being the best mum anyone could ask for.

I hope that in the years to come we will be able to celebrate your birthday with you. Maman, today we all celebrate you.

God Bless,
On behalf of all your daughters- B

We may not be with her this year but next year, it's on and popping by God's grace. B is our chairwoman in charge of the planning committee for my moms' 60th. I can't wait to live it up with my entire family!!!

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The devil is a liar!

I got a call from my doctor's office today with some terrible news. The kind of call you never want to get. A week ago, I'd been to thedoctor's for my 'annual' check. I used to be good about getting those but it wasn't until last week that I realized that my last annual check was three years ago. Prior to that, I'd been more religious about getting a full physical at least once a year. Anyhow, the exams were pretty uneventful. I guess I'd say uneventful because I didn't have the results at the time.

Fast forward to today. The nurse says that she's left me messages on my home phone. Anyone who knows me knows that my home/land phone is NEVER the best way to reach me. In fact, right now, it is unplugged. Anyhow, so she gets me at work and delivers the news. I was very confused. Why? How? Why me? I've always taken my health for granted. I'm never sick. In fact, I don't feel sick. I feel okay. The good news is that I can undergo a week of intensive treatment and at the end, take a break and then check back with them to make sure that everything is alright.

On to the subject of this post, that's what DH said when I told him what happened. Normally, this would make me laugh or at least smile but today, I believe. I will be well. It will be well. We will be well. Amen.

Les soeurs – Don't freak out. I am fine. Seriously.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Two Little Updates

Just a couple of updates on posts I made previously. On Wednesday, I was in a bit of a dilemma and I thought I should say that I have made peace with my tailor. It took a few trips back and forth and he has corrected that outfit. I believe it is now decent (pronounced deezent) and wearable. He was so gracious about the whole thing that I will be going back to him. The best thing with him is probably to take a sample because he puts a lot of effort into his work. I still won't be wearing the aso ebi the whole day. I got a cute little black dress on SALE so I should be good with that. My cousin asked me to be an aso ebi lady (dunno what that is but I'll oblige) during the reception so I guess I'mma have to get up out of my black dress by the time we get to the reception. Thank God it was only twenty five bucks!!!

I posted some time ago about how I didn't think books were for me and how I would settle for the second citizen grade of B from now on. I totally take that post back. Earlier this week, we got our grades back in our Management Systems class and I didn't do too badly. The professor passed a stack of grades to one end of the class and each person had to look for their name in the pile and pass it on. A quick comment - I don't really like this because everyone in class who gets the stack before me gets to see my grade. Not that anyone in class knows me besides DH and one consultant guy I've worked with in the past who turned out to be in my class as well. Very random. DH and I didn't set out to be in the same class - total coincidence. Anyway, the only pro about this exam passing thing is that I get to see other people's grades as well. Anyhow, the stack got to me and I saw my grade (95), DH's (4 less than me - LOL) and the consultant guy that I saw covering his work (85). That being said, I'm on my way to an A if I prepare well for finals in three weeks. I am very competitive and let's just say that this came at a very good time. Nobody in class knows that we are married because we have different last names and I act like I don't know him for the most part. Our work styles are totally different - I take notes in class, I ask questions and talk to the professor during breaks. He on the other hand, walks in with his textbook under his arm and no notebook (how do you go to class without a notebook - that's like a farmer going to the farm without a hoe) and goes to Starbucks across the street during breaks. Now that I know I'm hotter, I will totally be covering my work during finals if we end up sitting together. Just in case he plans to ever deny that I'm smarter, I will be looking for DH's paper so that I can frame it for our grandchildren to see. This is too cool, I'm smart y'all!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

What to do, what to wear

My cousin is getting married this weekend and of course the question of what to wear came up.  Not being one to sweat these things so much these days, I figured, worahell, I will just wear the aso ebi (traditional outfit) to the entire event.  It cost me $300 (not including accessories or shoes) and since I'm not out to catch no man, I decided I would just wear the aso ebi the entire time and not just to the night party as I have been wont to do in my previous life.  In the past, I never really fancied the idea of wearing aso ebi (trad) to weddings.  It seemed the thing to do if you were older or married but not for chikitas like meself.  Anyhow, I am past that now.  These days, I don't think I would feel bad wearing trad to the church, reception, and after party (which in my cousin's case, is an extension of the reception not a go home and come back later thing).  If the after party were to be in a different location from the reception, I would feel differently about this.

Anyhow, this whole gist does not matter now.  I went to my tailor yesterday to try on my baffs and it was all sorts of wrong.  I had chosen a simple floor-length skirt and top with two slits at the back and a little bit of work on the arms.  Nothing extraordinary.  By the time I tried on the outfit yesterday, I wanted to cry.  He not only put the slits in the back, he added two in front .  Err, not going to happen.  I told him to close them up because I am not going down like that.  For the first time in my life, I went all out and did 5 yards to myself (Because of the high price of aso ebi, I normally try to squeeze in 3 if it's just me or buy 10 yards and share with two of my sisters).  Anyhow, this time around, I got 5 yards for myself.  You would think that would have been more than enough material for our Sura de tailor.  How about the skirt is like 3 or 4 inches off the floor?  This guy wants to disgrace me and my household!  I am so mad.  Just after I had raved about him to my husband saying that he's professional with his sketching and how he always makes sure to schedule a fitting before the pick up date.  Right now, I am looking for a new tailor.  Anyone know of a good one in the Atlanta area, give me a holler. 

With my plans being botched, I am back to way before square one.  I have to look for a dress or a skirt.  It has to be inexpensive because this wedding has already cost us a quarter past one thousand bucks and I still haven't bought the wedding present.  I will be checking out Loehmanns and maybe Filene's today.  I recently bought a cute top so maybe a nice skirt would do.  Nothing more than $50.  I ain't even bought shoes yet.  My plans initially were to look for some cute red shoes to match the gele and a little red envelope purse to go with it.  I might be returning the new MJ purse that I haven't used yet to get the shoes and bag.  I really don't want to come out of pocket if I don't have to.  It's a pity because I have been on the fence about this purse (humongous brown purse with gold details on SALE) and wanted to get my sister's opinion about whether it was a keeper or not.  Too bad I won't be giving it a chance.  I should have at least taken a picture but it is all water under the bridge now.  This new crisis has taken center stage.  Oh Lord, help me as it is the 11th hour! 

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Tyler Perry's Done It Again

Can't wait to see this one.  I love me some film noirs. 

Monday, November 13, 2006

Book Isn't My Thang

Could it be time for me to admit that book isn’t my thing? I mean, I feel that I may indeed have some valuable talents but this school thing isn’t one of them. My last couple of exams are making me think that book is not really my thing. With two Bs in a row since I got back from my self-imposed hiatus, I think this is my last stop. I almost came within a hair’s breadth of an A last semester in my Managerial Accounting class. My average was an 89. Seriously! I was so sure I was walking away with an A. After the final, I stayed behind to tell the prof how great he was and how much I enjoyed his class. Yeah, I became one of those people. I meant it, so I have no regrets about doing that. To be completely honest, I thought since I was borderline he would bump me up to an A. I figured that as he was grading and he came across my name in the borderline category, he would remember how I stayed behind to tell him what a great professor he was and what an honor it was for me to be in his class. It didn’t happen but it’s all good, I still enjoyed his class.

For a hot minute, I had a perfect GPA, which got me drunk on the notion that my mind was made for some educaking (sp, I know). However, I am slowly and gradually resolving my mind to the ‘let my people go’ grade that is a B. I am now okay with Bs, sha give them to me and let me be going. I only have three or maybe four classes (if I can’t talk to my Dean out of that extra Marketing class) before I graduate. Like I tell people, I am not in this to get a new job (feels good not to be in that position, if not I would be feeling a lot worse), I am in it to learn. For the first time in my life, I am in school for the joys of learning. Not for a particular purpose, like the first 16 years of E-D-U. I wasn’t forced or coerced…Although my mom did strongly encourage me to go for my Masters. I still feel that this time, I am totally in it for me. It is not for my moms or my dad, even though they would be happy. This degree na my own. I guess that is why I have been happy to pay for 90% of it (got help for part of my first semester and some for my study abroad). However, with that being said, I am glad it is almost time to hang it up for good!

Thursday, November 09, 2006

House Rules

I was just wondering if people went over house rules with their guests.  I mean, if you're having guests stay with you for a disclosed length of time, do you welcome them, show them their bedroom, make them feel comfortable and then go over house rules?  I have thought about it.  We are having company over for a couple of weeks and before their visit, I wondered whether or not to go over my (not our) house rules with them.  For example, some dish towels are for dishes, not hands.  I have noticed that most people use dish towels for hands and dry their dishes with paper towels.  However, I have two sets of towels – one for hands and one for dishes.  DH knows exactly which ones are for hands because over time, I have had to remind him not to wipe his hands with the towels for dishes.  The towels for dishes are a particular brand and color and the ones for hands are the ones I usually get as gifts from parties, I think.  

Anyway, with us having guests over, I wondered whether to go over all this or whether they would think I was kinda sorta weird and anal.  I always worry about people thinking that I'm anal.  Apparently, one day, we had people over and I rushed to clean the pool of water that someone left on our wooden dining table as he raised up his glass.  I had no idea I did that but apparently, I did.  That brings me to coasters; I cannot stress how important coasters are when it comes to wood furniture.  I don't care if you put a sweaty glass directly on the granite countertops or on the console table with the glass top.  It really doesn't matter.  However, when it comes to wooden surfaces, it's a different matter because it leaves ugly circles etched in your furniture.  Also, I don't like people putting their legs on my furniture.  It's not that I think their feet are dirty, I just think it is disrespectful.  I do not put my feet up on people's furniture because I think it is rude. In my own house, I do as I please, I lay on my couch, prop up my feet on the coffee table (hardly ever, but it would be okay if I did) but I lay on my couch a lot because it is my house.  Finally, can I just say that I can't stand people that come in your house and start opening your fridge?  I remember when I lived with my sisters we would have friends come over and do that.  It annoyed the crap out of me.  In fact, I remember a while ago, one of DH's friends came over and did that.  He was like, "I'm hungry" and walked over to the fridge and started poking around.  

It is funny, when we were growing up, my mom and grandmother would always say don't do this because I don't want you going to other people's houses and doing this exact same thing.  I always wondered what all that was about.  Now, I understand that it is all about home training.  Seriously, people need to take some time out and make sure that their kids know how to act.  I can't stand kids with no home training but it's more forgivable with kids than adults.  Adults without home training don't make sense.  Period.  In the end, I decided to let it go.  I didn't go over any house rules because I thought it might be uncomfortable if I did that.  Not for me, for DH.  Instead, I removed the dish towels since I couldn't go over the house rules and I didn't want to give myself high blood pressure over that.   This version of me is letting go, not stressing.  I am actually trying to enjoy a house rules-free house if that makes any sense.  


A friend of mine sent this to me and I think I pretty much agree with most of it. Okay, I'm on the fence about Halle.

1. Flavor Flav and all the women that have ever appeared on the Flavor of Love (especially New York) - no explanation needed
2. Clarence Thomas - for having the audacity to desecrate the seat that was held by the late great Thurgood Marshall
3. Condoleeza Rice - self explanatory (but the fact that she was shopping for Ferragamo's when people were dying due to Hurricane Katrina was enough by itself to get her placed on the list.
4. Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown - too many reasons to count
5. Halle Berry in Monster's Ball - Billy Bob Thornton (need I say more)
6. DC snipers - Black people are not serial killers
7. Marion Berry - too embarrassing for words
8. Kobe Bryant - for snitching on Shaq (it's one thing to be a rapist, but to be a snitch on top of that is just taking it too far)
9. Rae Carruth - for having the audacity to hide his black ass in the trunk of a car in Nashville after having his baby mother killed
10. Terrell Owens - speechless
11. Mike Tyson - biting Evander's ear was enough to get him on the list
12. OJ Simpson - the Bronco ride by itself was enough to make the list
13. R. Kelly - pissing on little girls and having the audacity to record it
14. Puffy - cooning and shining and denying he's gay (DANG!) (and we not even going to mention the fact that he keeps stringing Kim Porter along, but his butt was crying over J.Lo)
15. The sister that cut the baby out of the pregnant woman and killed her other children by placing them in the washing machine and dryer
16. The entire Jackson family - Jermaine please let those fingerwaves go. Let's just take a moment of silence for Michael.
17. Armstrong Williams - for being on the GOP's payroll to praise No Child Left Behind when all it is doing is leaving children behind
18. Rodney King - "Can't we all just get along?"
19. 50 Cent - thinking he has enough clout to hate on Oprah. And for just being a punk and crying when someone talks to someone he doesn't like.
20. Wendy Williams - for always looking a Hot Ass Mess, and having the nerve to talk about other people
21. Dennis Rodman - too many reasons
22. Ice-T - for marrying a plastic Malibu Barbie named CoCo and swearing his old ass is a pimp
23. Diana Ross - for getting a DUI
24. The entire cast of Soul Plane - self explanatory
25. James Brown - beating his wife and that infamous mug shot
26. Jesse Jackson - for the love child
27. Bishop Don "Magic" Juan - for portraying every stereotype that white people believe to be true about black people
28. Snoop Dog - for having those sisters on leashes at the MTV Music Awards and introducing the world to Bishop Don "Magic" Juan (and let's not even mention Girls Gone Wild)
29. Bob Johnson - for selling BET to the Man
30. The entire BET station and staff members - for giving us Un-Cut and for taking away BET news
31. Cuba Gooding Jr. - cooning and shining at the Oscars
32. Nelly - for the Tip Drill video
33. The Ms. Peachez videos - cooning and shining at its finest ( or
34. Terry McMillan - for going on the Oprah Show acting like she didn't know her husband was gay before she married him and then being in the hot tub with him after she talked about him so bad
35. Al Sharpton - for rocking a perm in the '06 and having the audacity to run for President while looking like a pimp
36. Black people that say that Biggie and Pac were assassinated. Martin and Malcolm were assassinated those two brothers were shot. (Chris Rock from Bigger and Blacker)
37. Tina Knowles - for giving us House of Dereon
38. Lil Kim - for being the black Pamela Anderson
39. Karrine "Superhead" Steffans - for being the Black Monica Lewinsky
40. Omarosa - she gave intelligent Black sisters a bad name
41. The Source and the Vibe Awards - for all the buffoonery
42. All the Black wannabe models on America's Next Top Model that come on the show with a straight up attitude
43. Coral from the Real World/ Road Rules challenge always having to come on the shows portraying the angry Black woman
44. Vivica A. Fox for dating 50 Cent and then wearing the daisy dukes during Lil Jon's performance
45. Ron Isley for tax evasion and stealing from his decease brother's estate
46. Wesley Snipes - for To Wong Fu and then denying that he was the one that made Halle Berry deaf in her left ear
47. All new from Belle: DAVE CHAPELLE!! for turning down those millions

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

November's Here!

November represents a lot of good things in my life and I'm glad to welcome this special month.  November is the month of my mother's birth, as well as DH, my best friend, my godmother, my three lovely cousins, and my neighbor Ray.   November also brings with it Thanksgiving, a time when people are particularly thankful for everything in their lives.  This year, I have a lot of things to be thankful for and I'll be sure to highlight all that makes me feel thankful in the coming month.   I am very thankful for the following people who will be celebrating their birthdays this month:


Mom – My moms is too special for words.   She is the kindest, most generous soul you will ever find in the world.  She sacrificed so much for me to fulfill my dreams and will do the same tomorrow if I were to ask her.   My mom now lives in Rwanda, a country I am ashamed to say I have never visited.  She lovingly travels a gazillion miles to visit each year and I know she would love it if I made the effort to visit her even though she hasn't ever complained.   I love my mom, love her to pieces.  I admire her for her selflessness, maturity, and dignity.  She is never one to ruffle any feathers and resolves matters as tactfully as possible.   She is the epitome of patience and embodies everything good that is in me.  She is probably the most under-appreciated person I know.  I remember being shocked when I found out that she actually had an important job.  As a kid, I was used to her being home when I left for school and being home when I got back that I didn't appreciate her career achievements until I visited her office and then later, when I saw her featured in a magazine.  More than ever, I am grateful to have such a prime example in my life.  Your going back to law school at this stage in your life and career is something I brag to my friends about.  If you can do the late night classes after having your degrees under your belt a couple of decades ago, I can hurry up and finish my MBA.  To this day, I continue to ask my mom for advice because she is always right or at least right most of the time.   This is my little salute to my maman who will be celebrating her birthday on the 29th.


My other Mom – I have always called her "Mom" but she is one of my closest aunts and my godmother.  I guess the reason why we started calling her "Mom" was because we heard her children calling her that when they moved to Lagos from London.   I don't know what we called our mom then but it wasn't "Mom".  "Mom" was reserved for my Aunty Theo.  Truly special.  I remember her taking me around to all the primary schools in the area when I was a kid because my parents hadn't gotten around to registering me or something.  I remember her fighting for me in the headmistress' office because she did not want me to be left behind with the kids born after September.   More recently, she was one of my supporters when so many people questioned the choices I made about how and where I got married.  I knew that no matter where we went, she would be there because she said so. No matter where I am, I will be celebrating with her on the 3 rd. 

DH – My oko atata (dear husband) is probably mentioned in every one of my posts.   He's my special man.  The one I knew I would end up with from the get go.  What a coincidence that we met millions of miles away when at one point in our lives we were neighbors but never ran into each other?   Dolly asked me yesterday how I knew he was the one and I said there was this peace about DH that always made me feel 'right' when I was in his company.   I'm doing a bad job explaining what made sense yesterday.  There is also this strength and kindness about him that draws people to him.  He is unique and untouched by the madness of this world; just goes about his business and keeps doing his thang.  My own special efiko that did not conform to peer pressure at a time when it was unbearable.   *Private joke*  He stayed in school and was unswayed by the big bucks and faux trappings of wealth that olodu boys were obsessed with at the time. He is my inner voice of reason that can sometimes be frustrating and almost make me want to cry because I can't admit he is right.   Anyhoo, I will stop right here because I've already said too much already.  I know you said you don't want me to throw you a party because you just want a quiet evening.   Let's just say, I'll see what I can do on the 8th.  No promises…


Filay – My best friend of twenty-odd years.   I remember you all the way from our class in Primary 2 when we had to work on something with that skinny boy Jude Nweke.   I think that's when we became friends.   It's always been us two through the craziness and the weirdness of teenage years.  We've seen each other through the days when baffs and dressing up was more important than school.   When getting valled was our biggest worry.  I saw you through getting serious about school (you left me alone there, I couldn't hang with all those all-nighters in the Unilag Library).   We've seen each other through giddy fun times and really really low times. You are now a wonderful mother and an annoying wife (LOL), just kidding.  Seriously though, she and her hubby are the IT couple.  I love the world they have built for themselves and their boys.  She impresses me with all her career achievements and I'm always proud to tell people about her accomplishments.   We started off as a couple of ignant kids, getting up to no good and doing what ever it was we felt like, but child, we've come a long way.   I am happy to say that I could count on you then and can continue to count on you today. 


Ray – This is my neighbor-friend that I've grown quite close to over the past couple of years.   Ray always has a friendly smile and is an expert at sucking me into hallway conversations that last for hours at a time.  In this day and time when you can't really trust anyone, she has invited me to her home several times and shared her family with me.   It's wonderful to know that the world hasn't gotten rid of genuinely nice people. Her life just seems so exciting to me.  She lives life to the fullest it seems, going to the theatre, hanging out with her friends, trying all sorts of restaurants and driving around in that super fancy car with her Jackie O sunglasses on.   The other day, she had just come back from trying an Indian restaurant I hadn't even heard about.  Seriously, I want to be like Ray someday.  Believe me, if I ever feel like my bedroom entire bedroom redone in my favorite color, I sure will because I learnt from Ray that you only live once, so do what you makes you happy in your bedroom because that's where you can be yourself.   Happy 80th birthday.  You look awesome!!!  Keep doing your thing Ray!   I'll do my best to find the most gorgeous lavender-hued flowers because I know that's your favorite color.