Hungry Shopping: A Don’t

Silly me. Silly me. I feel like smacking my behind for being so silly. As I was jejely contemplating going to this store my sister and I discovered to pick up some $60 jeans that I had been agonizing over because they were NOT on sale, my rich-ass girlfriend called to find out what I was doing. I told her what was on my mind and she was like oh well, she was going to a nearby mall to return a purse and asked if I wanted to come along. Why not? The company would be nice and I could just look around to see what was new. Anyways, we met up to go to the mall and she told me the story of her purse. The long and short of it was that a dude she’s known for less than three months bought her a purse because she’d mentioned that she was looking for an everyday purse. Mind you, ol’ girl wasn’t dropping hints to get a purse; she can buy it by her sweet self. Anyways, next thing she knows, dude shows up with this $2,000 Dior purse. How did we know it was $2,000? The lady at the Saks counter rang it up and there it was. Anyways, she still had no use for the purse and wanted to look around to see if she could use her newly-acquired store credit to get something else. Let me just say that if it were me, I would have asked for the entire money to go on my card (Bloomies does this, thank their souls) and walked right out of the store. Instead, my friend was still looking for an everyday purse at Saks. Oh well, she wanted me to help her out so we started looking all over the place for an everyday classic purse. We looked all over the place and finally settled on one from Dolce & Gabbana for sixteen hundred. “Nice”, she said, “I could use the rest to buy some jeans later”. Chacun a sa maladie.

With her situation being settled, she wanted to help me shop. Now, that’s where I shoulda drawn the line because girlfriends we are but shopping buddies we are probably not. I don’t do full price for clothes. At least, not willingly. I have to love it and even then, it requires additional thought. This is my year of staying within my allotted cash budget. Anyways, because I’d been so gracious to her, she decided to show me one joint that I’d never been to in that entire mall. We get there and get this, pants start at $155. At first, I thought the whole store was a joke but the longer I stayed, the more stuff I had in the dressing room. Before we knew it, it was 8:00 PM. We had been in the store for over two, or maybe three hours and I hadn’t had lunch. I am not a happy camper when I’m hungry so I hurriedly paid for all my stuff – 2 pairs of pants, 1 jacket, and some capris for the springtime – so that we could get the heck out of there and go to dinner. Anyway, as I was paying, I heard the lady saying something about returning anything within 10 days, yada, yada, yada. Okay. Thank you very much. In fact, you’ve just given me a great idea, maybe when I’m back to my normal senses, I’ll return all this junk and get my money back. I spent waaaaaaaaaay too much and all I can do now is blame it on hunger. Note to self: Don’t ever go shopping hungry or with rich-ass girlfriends.

Now Showing: Amazing Grace

This week, I had a few Tsotsi moments. The last time I had such a feeling of excitement/rush of pride was when the movie Tsotsi came out in limited release. Finally, I got to watch an African movie with real Africans in an American movie theatre. The reason for my joy this week is that the independent movie theatre by my house is advertising the movie, Amazing Grace. I have heard so much about Jeta Amata's movie being the first Nigerian film that was shot for the cinemas and not just for release on DVD. I have really been looking forward to seeing the movie because I heard that the quality is a huge step up from Nollywood home videos. The photography and acting are supposed to be amazing. So, when I saw Amazing Grace on the marquee, I thought my moment had finally come to see a Nigerian film on the big screen. Even NPR (National Public Radio) had been advertising the movie all week and that just about sealed it for me.

So therefore (as our people say), I was looking forward to perhaps seeing it this weekend between getting my hair braided and doing my regular weekend runs. I called up my Naija movie buff friend and told her that there was actually going to be a Naija movie showing at the indie theatre. In fact, I told her that she and her husband could drop off their baby with me and go watch it together. As I was checking for showtimes, I realized that the movie in question is Amazing Grace shot in the UK and not The Amazing Grace shot in Calabar by Jeta Amata. So much for spreading gist before checking your facts. That's why it's not good to spread rumors o. I was going to email a bunch of my friends and suggest we go watch it together. Thank God I hadn't done that yet. In many ways, I am disappointed because I thought Naija could have a Tsotsi moment. I wonder what would it take to bring the better Nigerian movies to a theatre near me. Just last night on World News Tonight with Charles Gibson, they talked about Indian movie night at some New Jersey movie theatre. How lucky are they? The main focus was on the Indian food served at the movies. Apparently, popcorn is not the snack for moviegoers - it's something made out of potato. Whatever. Who cares? They are so lucky to be able to watch Bollywood movies on the big screen. It would be nice to have just one (good)Naija movie showing.

Study Days

I'm home for the next few days to study for my mid-terms. This is the first time I have taken time off expressly to study. There's one class that's really got me nervous and that's my Business Strategy class. It's the essence of my degree and that, plus the professor, is the reason why I'm dedicating so much time to studying. For the next few days, I'll be studying, goofing off, studying, goofing off. Sounds like a good plan. Hopefully, I'll be able to catch Oprah live for the first time in a very long while if it's on during my downtime.

Let's hope my efforts in M. le Professeur's class pay off. He's my toughest professor to date. I don't know if that has anything to do with him being French. From my past experience, French profs are pretty hard core. They push you hard and seem to be hard on themselves too. This guy puts a lot of effort into what he does. He seems really dedicated and strives for perfection which is a good indicator of why he demands perfection. Haven't experienced anything like this before. I tried to bail out of his class after the first day but there were no spaces left in the other classes. It'll be interesting to see the outcome of this class. I know I'm not the only one that tried to bail. Most people that came back did so because they didn't have a choice. This is a rite of passage and everyone must go through this course. As a student, you want an easy teacher and this guy is no walk in the park. Since I'm in it now, I'd better be in it to win it.

My Fried Rice Sucks So Does My Yoruba

On Saturday, my overly eager-to-please self invited a long-time friend of mine to dinner. Before he even confirmed, I dragged my butt off to the farmer's market in addition to the regular grocery store to do my bi-weekly shopping. My goal was to make egg rolls and spicy sauce for appetizers, a huge salad with fried rice, plantains, and baked hen for the entree and fruit for dessert. Yeah, by the time you go through all that food, I'm not about to kill anyone with a ‘bad’ dessert.

If there's one thing I can usually make, it's fried rice. It’s what I make when I have people over and I don’t want to have to think of anything complicated that my Naija friends wouldn’t like. Trust me, I’ve gotten in trouble for thinking outside the box or being creative. Anyway, fried rice is what I’m good at. I mean, when I lived with my sisters, I would be the one to make the fried rice and my older sister would make the jollof rice whenever we had parties. These days, at least my last two attempts, my fried rice just sucks. No matter what method I try - the sautéing of the rice and adding veggies and other ingredients later or the sautéing of the veggies and separate parboiling (why do they call it that?) of the rice and mixing the two together - nothing works anymore. My fried rice just sucks. In fact, my biggest fan, DH had no comments this time around. He usually says it's good when I complain that it sucks but this time, he ate in silence and so far, he's only eaten one plate out of an entire pot! It must suck really bad. I need a new MO. Thank God my friend wasn’t able to make it to witness the disaster that was my fried rice. For what it’s worth, my baked hen was pretty good if I may say so.

On to my Yoruba. It just sucks majorly. I can't speak Yoruba anymore to save my life. My girlfriend called me at work to talk about business opportunities that she's exploring as well as other things of a personal nature. Because she was at work and didn’t want people around her eavesdropping on our conversation, she asked me to 'code' in Yoruba. I tried my best but my best involved one Yoruba word per sentence. Even though our gist was salacious and sweet, I had to cut it short because I couldn’t hang in Yoruba. I hung up feeling terrible. All my dad’s efforts have come to this. How are my kids ever going to learn Yoruba? I’ve also been thinking: Do most parents want their children to understand their native language? I think it would be nice but then again mine sucks so my expectations will be very low.

Valentine's Day for Women Only?

On my way to work this morning, I pulled into a CVS to get a V-Day card for my baby daddy and it struck me based on what I found there that Valentine's Day is really geared toward women. It was hard to find any kind of baby daddy/husband/my man card - most of the cards were either for women, kids, or pets. How odd. Don't men deserve something? A token? Aren't cards the ultimate token? If I already felt bad that I didn't have anything special planned (well, just one thing really), this made me feel super bad. Not only had I left things to the last minute, now, I had to contend with a meagre selection that sucked majorly. Poor guys. Poor men, in general. What do they have to look forward to? All holidays are for women. Really. Except Father's Day and that's only if you're a dad. If you're not, then you're out of luck son. Men just have Father's Day and their birthdays and that's pretty much it.

So, my question is: Do women deserve it? Do women deserve to be at the receiving end when it comes to Valentine's Day, Wedding Anniversaries, First Date Anniversaries, First Kiss Anniversaries, and whatever else some of us hold dear? What about the men? What do they want? What would they like? This is really my year for feeling bad. I feel bad because I don't ever think of uber-romantic things to do on Valentine's Day or even on ordinary days. For V-Day, my take has always been he better do the planning. For some reason, this year, I feel like I have some responsibility. On the radio today, they were trying to save men who had forgotten to make plans for tonight from whatever punishment their partners were sure to impose on them for having the audacity to forget to make plans for an oh so important day. What role should women play on such a day? I am normally quick to be judgemental and prone to be all of a sudden traditional when I hear of women bending over backwards for their men. I am usually to ask my girlfriends: Does he deserve it? Shouldn't he be the one doing all the work? How long have y'all been dating before you start doing all these things for him? Are you even sure he is the one?

I haven't heard men protesting so maybe I should just hush and let us womens have Valentines Day.

Big Hair Day

Nothing I did or could have done could possibly have tamed my hair this morning. So therefore, (as they say in Naija), my hair is very big and I’m having a big hair day. As I looked at my reflection in the elevator mirror, I realized that everything I was wearing was brand spanking new (except my bag and shoes) so I asked myself Oprah-like if that made me feel better. My response to self was no. Still Oprah-like, I had an Aha moment. My inside didn’t match my outside so my outside looks like crap – to me at least. I don’t know if it’s the Monday Blues or what but I’m not feeling too great at the moment.

There’s just this funk that I cannot shake off. It’s terrible because it’s making me act out and I’m not nice to others when I feel this way within. Let’s just say I’m nice enough. No jaras. No extras. Not my usual self. I got to work and shut my door to see if applying some makeup would help. Fond de teint. Mascara. Burt’s Bees on my lips to get that feel good stinging feeling. Lip Gloss to cover up the Burt’s Bees. My favorite eyeshadow. Understated Blush that the MAC lady promised is okay for everyday use. I pulled out my comb and tried to ‘flatten’ my hair one last time. Little success there. I take a look at my overall appearance and I look a tad bit better but I don’t feel better so all that effort leaves me pretty much back to where I started. What is it about this funk that I can’t get rid of? I think I know the answer but knowing does not help. It’s all in the doing. Right now, I can’t do anything.

What to do on Val’s Day?

Valentine's Day is not really my day to plan; it’s his to plan for me. LOL. This year, he hinted that I’d better be doing something for him too. My record is pretty pitiful. And that's putting it mildly. I am so used to being spoiled. One year, it was the works – flowers, nice dinner, and a HUGE gift cert from my favorite spa, and something else. I say HUGE because I was able to go back three times and got some spa products out of it. Last year, it was a customized dinner at a fancy place and a very thoughtful gift. Let’s just say hold the fancy because I so did not like the dinner. Mussels and stuff – ewww! The cranberry bread that came in the basket was the best part about it. And the view. The restaurant was overlooking a river so that was pretty cool.

This year, I don’t know what we’ll do. We’re both in class – not the same one, thank Jah! – until at least 10pm. I have my least favorite class on that day so I doubt that I’ll be in a good mood when I get home. Maybe I’ll surprise him at work and take him to lunch? I don’t know. I have never done that before – show up at his job to take him to lunch. The last time I showed up at his job at lunchtime, I happened to be in the neighborhood and he brought down lunch for me to take back to work. I guess I still remember it because it was sweet and unexpected. I’m on a budget so it will be high on the sentimental side and low on the dollar end of it. What’s a good gift that is high on the sentimental side and low on the dollar end? The kind that makes you say awwww when you get it and it’s easy to ignore the fact that it was inexpensive? That’s the gift I’m looking to buy. Mine's had better be high on the sentimental side and high on the dollar end. I don't do sentimental only.

Outed, not Ousted

So, I just found out that one of DH’s friends knows about my blog and in their conversations, she’s dropped quite a few tidbits that allude to the fact that she’s been doing some reading. Okay. So, where do we go from here? I haven't really tried to mask who I am so it’s been easy for anyone who knows me or my family to put two and two together. However, I was unprepared to have things I’ve said come back to ‘bite’ me. When I write, I keep in the back of my head something my mom always taught us – don’t write down things that you will be sorry for – it’s much better to speak those thoughts and have them evaporate instead of having them forever stored on paper. Okay, I really don’t remember exactly what my mom said, but obviously, I’m not doing such a great job of being careful. My one wish is that I don’t ever write anything that will cause permanent damage to myself or others.

So, where do I go from here? Do I not mention personal things because someone’s going to repeat them or feel like they have some kind of advanced knowledge about my life? I really don’t know. I just thought this whole episode was odd.