Free Day!

I have a rare day off tomorrow and I’m not quite sure what to do with myself. The plan is to make use of the day to the fullest as in, not waste a single minute. I fear the day will go to waste if I don’t have a plan. So here’s the plan:

8:00 am – Hand Blu over to his Nanny and run off to the gym
8:35 am – Yes o, just 30 mins at the gym. That’s enough for a sister. Anyway, shower, get dressed.
9:00 am – Drop off the stuff I need to mail at the post office. Maybe some eviction letters included as some people are getting on my nerves.
9:30 am – Hit the shops. I have a $10 DSW certificate. I MUST buy something from that big ol’ store. Speaking of big ol’ things, it’s time for me to replace my tired over-sized purse that I use for a laptop bag and I also need an over-sized jacket for this weather. I don't know how I can go to two different places in the space of two hours.
11:30 – Get nails done, get brows waxed. It’s been a while since my brows felt some hot wax.
1:00PM – Orthopedic appointment. My yeye trainer broke my arm.
3:00PM – Hit more shops. Maybe get my hair cornrowed. I’m getting tired of the weekly salon visits. This back to natural thing might be for the birds. Besides, this yeye running messes with my hair.
5:00PM – Get my Mexican. I can’t forget that.
5:30PM – Sayonara, Nanny. Hello, Blu.

Hungry Shopping: A Don’t

Silly me. Silly me. I feel like smacking my behind for being so silly. As I was jejely contemplating going to this store my sister and I discovered to pick up some $60 jeans that I had been agonizing over because they were NOT on sale, my rich-ass girlfriend called to find out what I was doing. I told her what was on my mind and she was like oh well, she was going to a nearby mall to return a purse and asked if I wanted to come along. Why not? The company would be nice and I could just look around to see what was new. Anyways, we met up to go to the mall and she told me the story of her purse. The long and short of it was that a dude she’s known for less than three months bought her a purse because she’d mentioned that she was looking for an everyday purse. Mind you, ol’ girl wasn’t dropping hints to get a purse; she can buy it by her sweet self. Anyways, next thing she knows, dude shows up with this $2,000 Dior purse. How did we know it was $2,000? The lady at the Saks counter rang it up and there it was. Anyways, she still had no use for the purse and wanted to look around to see if she could use her newly-acquired store credit to get something else. Let me just say that if it were me, I would have asked for the entire money to go on my card (Bloomies does this, thank their souls) and walked right out of the store. Instead, my friend was still looking for an everyday purse at Saks. Oh well, she wanted me to help her out so we started looking all over the place for an everyday classic purse. We looked all over the place and finally settled on one from Dolce & Gabbana for sixteen hundred. “Nice”, she said, “I could use the rest to buy some jeans later”. Chacun a sa maladie.

With her situation being settled, she wanted to help me shop. Now, that’s where I shoulda drawn the line because girlfriends we are but shopping buddies we are probably not. I don’t do full price for clothes. At least, not willingly. I have to love it and even then, it requires additional thought. This is my year of staying within my allotted cash budget. Anyways, because I’d been so gracious to her, she decided to show me one joint that I’d never been to in that entire mall. We get there and get this, pants start at $155. At first, I thought the whole store was a joke but the longer I stayed, the more stuff I had in the dressing room. Before we knew it, it was 8:00 PM. We had been in the store for over two, or maybe three hours and I hadn’t had lunch. I am not a happy camper when I’m hungry so I hurriedly paid for all my stuff – 2 pairs of pants, 1 jacket, and some capris for the springtime – so that we could get the heck out of there and go to dinner. Anyway, as I was paying, I heard the lady saying something about returning anything within 10 days, yada, yada, yada. Okay. Thank you very much. In fact, you’ve just given me a great idea, maybe when I’m back to my normal senses, I’ll return all this junk and get my money back. I spent waaaaaaaaaay too much and all I can do now is blame it on hunger. Note to self: Don’t ever go shopping hungry or with rich-ass girlfriends.

What Not to Wear to Weddings

With all the weddings in the air, it is time for a post about what not to wear. In the past year, I have been to countless weddings and seen gazillions of pictures from weddings I have not attended. Looking back, there really should be someone telling folks what not to wear. I am no expert but I'll take a stab at this. Where do I start? I'll just put together a list:

• Dressing overly casual – Okay, this is like the biggest day in the life of the couple and you want to wear jeans or a polo shirt? You might want to think twice about this. I have seen girls – yes- girls wearing jeans to a wedding. Okay, one girl. Still, do NOT under any circumstances wear jeans to a wedding. That is so rude. The other day, I was looking through some pictures and saw this one guy wearing a polo shirt to a wedding. I did a double take. He must not have known the couple and decided to go with or must have come straight from work. Still, abeg/please/biko, change in your car if you must attend the wedding. Rule of thumb, if it is not expressly stated that it is a casual wedding, try your best. Whatever that might be. The couple (and their guests and their well wishers who view the pictures from a distance) will be glad you did.

• Spending your rent on clothes – The other day, I went to the mall and saw dresses that I had seen at weddings. I picked up a few and was surprised at the price tags. Unless you are incredibly rich, I do not think it is advisable to go around spending that kind of cash or plastic on clothes. For one, they hold no value (as in, you can’t cash in one day and pull out your equity), second, as women, we always want variety in our wardrobes and this is a sure way to go broke or go have your lights turned off just when your friends decide to visit. There are bound to be countless weddings. It definitely seems to be the season. Don’t go broke this way. In fact, don’t go broke at all.

• Wearing the same outfit to multiple weddings – I am ratting myself out here. I essentially have two dresses for weddings. The brown BCBG or the brown no-name dress. I rotate. The last four weddings I attended, I wore either one of these dresses. In fact, my friend is getting married tomorrow and I am wearing the no-name one. I wore the BCBG to a wedding in New York a couple of months ago. With the no-name one, I can either go strapless or with straps. Not that it matters, it is still the same dress. My point here is that everyday for the thief, one day for the owner. I don’t think anyone has caught on yet because these weddings have been in different parts of the country. Knowing my luck and karma being a B, I am sure now that I’ve said this, I will indeed get caught. Anyway, if you must do this, try not to get caught. Make sure that the people getting married don’t know each other so that there is no six degrees of separation thing happening. Meaning that if they don’t know each other, the likelihood of them having the same guests at their weddings is reduced. There is the possibility that no one could know. The down side to this is that you can’t share pictures openly when you keep wearing the same outfit. I guess the remedy here is to buy affordable dresses and accessorize.

• Do not tread the beaten path – Go where people don’t go. Hit the little-known one-woman owned boutiques when it comes to shopping. They are not more expensive as one is bound to think. The malls could be a dangerous place. In fact, no matter where you go, there is always the possibility that someone could wear your dress. That’s a no-no. Not the malls, but someone else having your dress. Hit up unique boutiques if you can. Also, try sample sales. They usually have great brands for up to 90% off. Boutiques also have warehouse type sales where they come together in one big warehouse for a cash-only, try it on, buy it now sale. There you can get things that are less common. If your city has a daily candy, visit once in a while to know what's new and fresh in your area. However, if you must hit up the commonly-taken path, make up for it with your accessories. Besides, you’ll always look better than the other person.

• Remove your earpiece – I have seen people with their Motorola blue tooth ear thingy still on their ear at weddings. Again, abeg/please/biko, if it is not an earring, take it off your ear. I think this is pretty understandable, init?