When A Man Says I'll Take Care Of It...

Saturday afternoon after a very light 'lunch' with our friends who were in town for the weekend, I got up immediately to do my auto-pilot clear up thing. I did the dishes and then got out the broom, dustpan, brush, and mop out of the broom closet to wax my magic on the kitchen floor. DH saw this and said "Go ahead and relax honey, I'll take care of this." Something in me wanted to say no because the floors were bothering me and I wanted to just get to them really quickly. But something even bigger in me did want to relax so I just said "Okay" and left my supplies leaning against the wall for him to do his thing.

The broom, dustpan, etc were leaning against the wall where I left them the rest of the day on Saturday. They were also there on Sunday and on Monday they were still where I left them. Finally on Tuesday evening, I just went ahead and did my quick sweep and mop action. I know he meant it when he said he'd help. I just couldn't wait any more. So when a man says he'll take care of it, either wait on him to do it in his own time or DIY (do it yourself).

Life Is Good

It's so easy to whine about life and how things don't always go my way but here are some reasons why life is good:

• Despite health scares - some of it caused by me being a hypochondriac, I am healthy.
• We got some dining chairs that I LOVE. Y'all need to see them. Totally cool and on SALE. They are plush and comfortable. Vastly different from the earthy looking ones we had going, these totally change the entire look of the place. Spur of the moment purchase but absolutely no regrets.
• Hung out with three of girls from my inner circle back in the day this weekend and their new families. I am so happy that we are in touch and still have each other's best interest at heart after almost 20 years of friendship. How cool is that?
• Oh, and one of my friends betrayed me recently and I'm okay with it because I knew she would. Actually, make that two. Two of my girls - not just one. You can't tell someone something and expect them not to tell anyone. Girls like to talk. I knew they would that's why I only give such gist about myself and nobody else. If it gets out, it's my gist. Besides, I half-expected it to anyway. I let the major culprit know that I knew what she had done and kept it light. We're still cool. Back in the day, it would have been a huge deal. These days, I'm like whatever.
• The least likely of my girlfriends kept her word and it feels good because she'll be the only one I'll be sure of in the future. Need to give her kudos for doing that. I so threatened her. I'm glad she didn't drop the ball.
• Moving on. I got asked to do what I call an ise iya (don't really know how to translate this but it's pretty much something my oga asks me to do that I don't feel like doing). It involves me doing a web & audio training for people to access time and time again. I didn't really want to do it because I don't like the idea of having my voice recorded like that for some reason. Also, I wasn't sure I could maintain the phonetics for that long without resorting to my Naija-speak. I guess I also don't want to hear in the hallways: "Who did that recording? They sure had an accent." Spoke to DH about it and ended up not feeling so bad about having to do it. Life is good when you can turn a negative into a positive.
• What else? Oh yeah, my scale broke. Not literally. It stopped working and I had to toss it out. I haven't been able to weigh myself in my usual everyday compulsive fashion since November maybe. Anyways, I sure have packed up some pounds since that time and the good news is that I am totally loving my body as it is right now. Really weird, but hey, I ain't lyin'.
• An old friend said she saw some pictures of me and asked if I was pregnant. Comments like that have the propensity to upset me and I will probably post about how inappropriate it is to ask if a woman is pregnant in the future. Normally, I can't stand when people ask that but I said to her, "No, I was just fat." Life is good when I say stuff like that without being sarcastic. If I looked preggie in that pic, it was because of the extras. And I really thought I was looking good with my mohawk and cutesy strapless dress. Moving on before I get mad about that.
• DH and I did three miles yesterday around us. I finally got a chance to show him houses that I had been eyeing. God knows if I lived in one of them, I probably would never want to move back to Naija. Okay, that last sentence does not fit in there. The point of that was we finally worked out together for the first time since a long time.
• When we got back, he made eba while I was in the shower. We had been debating about getting Chinese or cooking on our way home. I know. That's why I am fat :-)
• It's Spring Break this week. It's not the same as when you're in undergrad and can literally check out for a week. However, I get to come home and stay home. What that means is this, I am living my pre-grad school life for a week and it feels good.
• I discovered this place that does dry cleaning for $1.50 a piece. That is so ridiculous! Spring jackets too! I tried them out by only giving them eight pieces and there were no oil stains or other foreign stains on any of my clothes when they came back. I am totally going back there.
• Despite using most of my bi-weekly allowance (more on this later) to get my hair braided, I didn't go back to the ATM for more money to tide me over the next two weeks. This cash-only thing might work and that's a good thing.
• Last but not least, I'd been feeling bad about having to drive my bashed car like that to work but as I was leaving for the day, I saw one green Camry that's way way bashed. Kinda funny to feel good about not having the worst looking car on the block.
• Oh, and finally, finally. I am so on a roll when it comes to getting our last two properties rented out. DH says he's got his wife back because something in me just sparked and I've been aggressive about getting these places rented. I placed ads on craigslist and in the paper and I have (yes, TWO) open houses on Saturday. I'll be at one from 10:00 am and eight people have confirmed that they'll be coming. DH will be at the other from 11:00 (good wife that I am, he gets to sleep in) and four people have confirmed they'll be there. The best part about that is that we had those numbers as of Wednesday. Who knows how many more will call because surely, not everyone will show up. The best best part is that I have two people so serious about the one I am showing that one wants to meet, sign a lease and put a down payment on the place today. The other says he'll fax in his pay stubs as proof of employment. If all goes well, I might have to cancel my open house and guess who'll be sleeping in? HaHAHAHAAA!!! (wicked laugh)

It's Our Anniversary

Can't believe another year has gone by. This year was better than last and I hope the trend continues. DH wanted us to go out of town to celebrate and had made reservations at the Ritz Carlton in some city. I saw his to do list:
 Home Depot
 Call Robert
 Pay for Reservation
I don't know if I'll regret telling him to cancel the reservations because I would rather us spend the money re-doing our place. I want to buy new furniture and just generally spruce up our place. Unromantic, I know but I figure that's a longer-lasting gift for the two of us. Somehow, I feel bad because it's almost July and he hasn't taken any vacation time this year. He doesn't seem to mind but that's a sour spot for us. I can't live without taking time off and going somewhere, anywhere as long as it's away from my daily routine. I've taken a few trips without him, one with my girlfriends and a couple other family-related trips. Hopefully, he'll be happy when he finds out that I booked us a room at the chateau. We just love that place. I'm going to find some spa time and if he wants to join me, that would be fine too. I'm so selfish. Just me, me, me. I give gifts that I can benefit from. Anyway, it's our anniversary and I'm so excited! Don't call us, we'll call you.

Kneel Down and Feed Your Husband

I have been having conversations with people all around me about the Nigerian (Yoruba mostly) tradition of the wife kneeling down to feed her husband cake at their wedding. My sister and I like most women of our age group love, love, love attending weddings. Especially Naija weddings. That's where we get to mix with other Naijas, check out people's fashion sense or lackthereof and pretty much have a good time. One thing that drives us both crazy is the Naija or is it Yoruba tradition of the bride kneeling to feed her husband a piece of their wedding cake. It just drives me crazy. What's that about?

In all of the weddings that I attended where the bride knelt down, there has never been a move on the groom's part to join her (indicating that they are partners) or even dissuade her from the discomfort of kneeling down in her gorgeous gown. They usually smile smugly and enjoy the attention. Guys I have talked to say it's about submission. It is humiliating more like it. One of the reasons given by older people is that it shows that the girl has been well brought up. I just plain don't like it. However, it is a personal choice. If a woman wants to be submissive, then it's up to her. I just don't like the way it is portrayed as an act of respect. There are many ways to show respect without belittling a human being.

At my wedding, I was nervous about being asked to do it. Sometimes, the person or persons overseeing the cutting of the cake (usually friends of the parents) will not ask the bride to show this sign of respect but guests at the wedding might yell "kneel down, kneel down" and she'll end up doing it. Anyhow, at my wedding, I was all tied up in knots because I didn't know whether or not I'd be asked. As we were making our way to cut the cake from our table, I kept telling DH "I'm not doing it, I'm really not". We had already had the discussion. Several times. Yet, I was nervous about having to disobey the officiant. Luckily, she didn't ask me to, neither did his aunt and uncle standing behind us, nor our guests. All that nervousness for nothing. In fact, contrary to the typical kneeling down, she asked us to seal it with a kiss. Nice.