All My Life I Had to Fight

Remember this line from the Color Purple?
“All my life I had to fight. I had to fight my daddy. I had to fight my uncles. I had to fight my brothers. A girl child ain't safe in a family of men, but I ain't never thought I'd have to fight in my own house!”

I feel Sofia's struggle and exasperation with having to struggle through life. I will say though that her struggle is on another level entirely. So here's how I feel about work: All my life I’ve had to fight for what I’ve wanted and I am still having to fight. When do we get to that point where we’re just sailing? Where everything is just cool, just flowing, no wahala especially when it comes to work? I feel like I’ve always had to struggle to get from one level to the next. Almost nothing has been easy or given to me. Not that I expect that things should or would be easy, it would be nice to not to have to struggle all the time. Think of this in terms of having a car and being denied gas randomly when you go to the gas station. Sometimes, you're able to pump gas without a problem and other times, no fuel for you. Then you look around and there are other cars that seem to be able to get gas all willy nilly. Probably not the best analogy. But anyways...

The highlight of my career - and this dates back to about six years - was when I got promoted without asking for it. Just like that, I was recommended for a position and it was mine because someone said so. Even that particular event wasn’t without drama. I wasn’t paid at the level of the position but I figured that with time, after proving myself, I would automatically get the raise I felt I deserved. Obviously, nothing is really ‘automatic’ and so I had to fight for my raise. The rest of my journey has pretty much been like that – one struggle after another.

The latest one is the struggle to work from home after the baby. I must say that it has been a battle. From my point of view it seems rather unfair (laughable use of the word - I certainly am not a kid crying about something being unfair). However, based on my work environment where working from home full-time is available to some and now doesn't seem likely to be available to me, I feel as though something's most definitely amiss. All the same, my plan is to trudge along and do my best all the time. The good thing about life is that we've all got the ability to make choices. Note to self: either deal with it or stop whining.

How to ask to work from home

So, for the longest, I have been meaning to ask to work from home. Here's why. When I was interviewed for my position, I was told that six months into my job, I could work from home - full time. Trust me, I was excited beyond belief and gave my all to this job. I even told my husband to give me the room I needed to do 'extra' on the job because I wanted to prove that I was worth it. Anyway, being the efiko that I am, I didn't ask to work from home until a year into the job. Not only did I wait a whole year to ask, but I asked to work from home just one day a week. Don't ask me why. It must be a Naija thing - I didn't want to do aseju or appear overeager. I didn't want to jump at the earliest opportunity. Like mention it at my six-month review or something.

I waited a whole year to ask. You guessed it. I was refused. Soit disant that things had changed, the mood on our team was no longer the same because half of my group had been phased out. The work from home thing had been kinda sorta cancelled but I was told that if I had a business reason to work from home, I could. Now, what's a good business reason to work from home? Anyway, over time, this 'rule' has changed to "You can work from home whenever you feel like, just let me know". I take advantage of this from time to time. However, it's been a while since the other half of our team was phased out and I am thinking of asking to work from home again. This time though, I want what I was promised at my interview. I want to work from home full-time.

What are good reasons for asking for this besides the fact that I was promised this at the time of hire? I am going to speak to my boss tomorrow (for sure). I say this all the time but I mean it, I will definitely bring it up tomorrow. However, before our meeting, I want to be prepared. Anyone that can help, please do. My biggest reason for wanting to do this now is because I am preparing to have a baby and it breaks my heart to have to leave my child with people I do not know. That, and the fact that I haven't found a daycare - all the ones I called have a sixteen month waiting list. I don't think this would sit well with my boss but it's the truth. What's a girl to do? I am willing to look for another job if it doesn't go well. I just need to know now so that I can start looking. Again, it's quality of life over anything else.

It's Our Anniversary

Can't believe another year has gone by. This year was better than last and I hope the trend continues. DH wanted us to go out of town to celebrate and had made reservations at the Ritz Carlton in some city. I saw his to do list:
 Home Depot
 Call Robert
 Pay for Reservation
I don't know if I'll regret telling him to cancel the reservations because I would rather us spend the money re-doing our place. I want to buy new furniture and just generally spruce up our place. Unromantic, I know but I figure that's a longer-lasting gift for the two of us. Somehow, I feel bad because it's almost July and he hasn't taken any vacation time this year. He doesn't seem to mind but that's a sour spot for us. I can't live without taking time off and going somewhere, anywhere as long as it's away from my daily routine. I've taken a few trips without him, one with my girlfriends and a couple other family-related trips. Hopefully, he'll be happy when he finds out that I booked us a room at the chateau. We just love that place. I'm going to find some spa time and if he wants to join me, that would be fine too. I'm so selfish. Just me, me, me. I give gifts that I can benefit from. Anyway, it's our anniversary and I'm so excited! Don't call us, we'll call you.

Home for Lunch

One of the things I love about my job is its proximity to where I live. I love the fact that I never have to worry about the one-hour commute that is the average one-way commute time here. I love the fact that I never have to worry about gas prices. Really, I'll complain that it's $3 a gallon but I only fill up every other week so 40 bucks every couple of weeks isn't that bad. If it were every other day like some of my colleagues, that would be a different case. I love the fact that I have the luxury of waking up 30 minutes before I have to be at work. In the past, I loved the fact that I could come home from work. There was a time when I craved efo (vegetable soup made with palm oil). I would rush home and eat it with anything at lunch. Efo isn't something you want to eat at work so having lunch at home meant I wouldn't have to deal with people saying "Hmmmmmm, what is that smell?" But I digress.

Today is the first time I've come home for lunch in a looooooooong time. I've been so consumed with staying close by so that if I'm ever needed, I'm in the building. Today, I didn't plan on coming home but at 11:55 this morning, it seemed like a really good idea. There is a point of saturation and working through lunch gets you there very quickly. This past Friday, I was at work until 7pm. On a Friday! I didn't even break for lunch. This corporate America sef. It gets really tiresome. Today, I'm looking out for my sanity. For real, some time ago at my old job, I literally felt like crawling under my desk to get away from the work. I was ready to scream and yell at everyone to leave me alone. That's when I knew it was time to leave.

Going forward, I am going to block out my calendar at lunch time so I have less "working lunch" sessions. In fact, I am going to physically leave the building at lunch time so people can't reach me. People always feel it's okay to barge in with "I know you're at lunch but could you..." Who am I kidding? Today's probably going to be my last lunch at home in a long while because there'll be fifty messages waiting for me when I get back.