Telling my side of the story

WARNING: I'm not that deep.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

All My Life I Had to Fight

Remember this line from the Color Purple?
“All my life I had to fight. I had to fight my daddy. I had to fight my uncles. I had to fight my brothers. A girl child ain't safe in a family of men, but I ain't never thought I'd have to fight in my own house!”

I feel Sofia's struggle and exasperation with having to struggle through life. I will say though that her struggle is on another level entirely. So here's how I feel about work: All my life I’ve had to fight for what I’ve wanted and I am still having to fight. When do we get to that point where we’re just sailing? Where everything is just cool, just flowing, no wahala especially when it comes to work? I feel like I’ve always had to struggle to get from one level to the next. Almost nothing has been easy or given to me. Not that I expect that things should or would be easy, it would be nice to not to have to struggle all the time. Think of this in terms of having a car and being denied gas randomly when you go to the gas station. Sometimes, you're able to pump gas without a problem and other times, no fuel for you. Then you look around and there are other cars that seem to be able to get gas all willy nilly. Probably not the best analogy. But anyways...

The highlight of my career - and this dates back to about six years - was when I got promoted without asking for it. Just like that, I was recommended for a position and it was mine because someone said so. Even that particular event wasn’t without drama. I wasn’t paid at the level of the position but I figured that with time, after proving myself, I would automatically get the raise I felt I deserved. Obviously, nothing is really ‘automatic’ and so I had to fight for my raise. The rest of my journey has pretty much been like that – one struggle after another.

The latest one is the struggle to work from home after the baby. I must say that it has been a battle. From my point of view it seems rather unfair (laughable use of the word - I certainly am not a kid crying about something being unfair). However, based on my work environment where working from home full-time is available to some and now doesn't seem likely to be available to me, I feel as though something's most definitely amiss. All the same, my plan is to trudge along and do my best all the time. The good thing about life is that we've all got the ability to make choices. Note to self: either deal with it or stop whining.

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70 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did their reasons for not allowing you to work from home make sense to you or sounds like a pot of crock? I think it helps and makes it easier to digest if we can rationalize it...not that it does not hurt though....My dear, don't stress yourself out o, although, I HEAR YOU BIG TIME!......Ebony.

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Blogger Unknown said...

I read your post and I was blown away at how it is almost a mirror image of my life. That's pretty amazing.

What are their reasons for not wanting you to work from home? I went through the same set of difficulties when I was expecting. I won't go into detail since this is not about you...but what I will ask you to do is talk it over with your boss, see what s/he says - watch their body language. You also have to lay your cards on the table and let them know what you propose. Prior to this, make sure you understand your company's telecommuting policy, it seems that some people can and some people can't...it is the same here...others can because of the nature of their job while others can't - a telecommuting receptionist doesn't work for any organization. Talk to other mothers who are similar positions as you...look for someone who is down-to-earth and can tell it like it is. Lastly, one thing I always remind myself is - the child is more important than the job and beyond the baby years, there are so many things else to consider - first ballet classes, piano recitals, etc Things you need to take time off work from and if your job is not family friendly, it might be time to say adieu rather than lose all those special moments with your little one. Hopefully this won't be an issue with you. I hope everything works out.

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