What Not to Wear to Weddings

With all the weddings in the air, it is time for a post about what not to wear. In the past year, I have been to countless weddings and seen gazillions of pictures from weddings I have not attended. Looking back, there really should be someone telling folks what not to wear. I am no expert but I'll take a stab at this. Where do I start? I'll just put together a list:

• Dressing overly casual – Okay, this is like the biggest day in the life of the couple and you want to wear jeans or a polo shirt? You might want to think twice about this. I have seen girls – yes- girls wearing jeans to a wedding. Okay, one girl. Still, do NOT under any circumstances wear jeans to a wedding. That is so rude. The other day, I was looking through some pictures and saw this one guy wearing a polo shirt to a wedding. I did a double take. He must not have known the couple and decided to go with or must have come straight from work. Still, abeg/please/biko, change in your car if you must attend the wedding. Rule of thumb, if it is not expressly stated that it is a casual wedding, try your best. Whatever that might be. The couple (and their guests and their well wishers who view the pictures from a distance) will be glad you did.

• Spending your rent on clothes – The other day, I went to the mall and saw dresses that I had seen at weddings. I picked up a few and was surprised at the price tags. Unless you are incredibly rich, I do not think it is advisable to go around spending that kind of cash or plastic on clothes. For one, they hold no value (as in, you can’t cash in one day and pull out your equity), second, as women, we always want variety in our wardrobes and this is a sure way to go broke or go have your lights turned off just when your friends decide to visit. There are bound to be countless weddings. It definitely seems to be the season. Don’t go broke this way. In fact, don’t go broke at all.

• Wearing the same outfit to multiple weddings – I am ratting myself out here. I essentially have two dresses for weddings. The brown BCBG or the brown no-name dress. I rotate. The last four weddings I attended, I wore either one of these dresses. In fact, my friend is getting married tomorrow and I am wearing the no-name one. I wore the BCBG to a wedding in New York a couple of months ago. With the no-name one, I can either go strapless or with straps. Not that it matters, it is still the same dress. My point here is that everyday for the thief, one day for the owner. I don’t think anyone has caught on yet because these weddings have been in different parts of the country. Knowing my luck and karma being a B, I am sure now that I’ve said this, I will indeed get caught. Anyway, if you must do this, try not to get caught. Make sure that the people getting married don’t know each other so that there is no six degrees of separation thing happening. Meaning that if they don’t know each other, the likelihood of them having the same guests at their weddings is reduced. There is the possibility that no one could know. The down side to this is that you can’t share pictures openly when you keep wearing the same outfit. I guess the remedy here is to buy affordable dresses and accessorize.

• Do not tread the beaten path – Go where people don’t go. Hit the little-known one-woman owned boutiques when it comes to shopping. They are not more expensive as one is bound to think. The malls could be a dangerous place. In fact, no matter where you go, there is always the possibility that someone could wear your dress. That’s a no-no. Not the malls, but someone else having your dress. Hit up unique boutiques if you can. Also, try sample sales. They usually have great brands for up to 90% off. Boutiques also have warehouse type sales where they come together in one big warehouse for a cash-only, try it on, buy it now sale. There you can get things that are less common. If your city has a daily candy, visit once in a while to know what's new and fresh in your area. However, if you must hit up the commonly-taken path, make up for it with your accessories. Besides, you’ll always look better than the other person.

• Remove your earpiece – I have seen people with their Motorola blue tooth ear thingy still on their ear at weddings. Again, abeg/please/biko, if it is not an earring, take it off your ear. I think this is pretty understandable, init?