Not Easily Embarrassed

It’s funny how I no longer get embarrassed. Nothing embarrasses me anymore, nothing. Maybe it’s my ‘tough’ upbringing going to a school where the boys were cruel and the lines between girls and boys were often blurred. I remember all the silly names they called me – duck – referring to the big booty on my skinny frame. So, really, hardly anything embarrasses me anymore. I remember one day back in high school, I was perched on a stool and one guy complained that I was blocking his view and the other guys with him were like leave her alone. I later realized that the only reason they told him to back off me was because my zipper was down and they were enjoying the view. When I realized what the show was about, I simply pulled my zipper up and resumed gisting with my friends. So, really, I don’t get embarrassed. I have had way too many incidents where I could have died of embarrassment to really be easily embarrassed.

How about the day I was out swimming, I must have been 13 or 14 and I came out of the pool only to realize that my tie top was at my waist? I must have flashed all the people at the pool that day. And flash is an understatement because it took a while for me to realize why I was so cold. I think I was embarrassed by that incident but I got over it quickly. No drama. I just told my cousin who was with me what just happened. Like, can you believe that just happened to me? Right after that, I was back in the pool again, but only after triple-tying my top. To this day, I triple tie any halters. No way that mess is ever going to happen to me again. How about the horrible plastic shoes my mom made me wear to (high) school on rainy days? They were funny but hey, my mama said to wear plastic shoes on rainy days. How about the day I was at a hotel in Zurich, I must have been 15, and I got caught greedily stuffing my pockets at the buffet table with those little Kellogg’s packs? That was a tad bit embarrassing but I walked back to my table with dignity because didn’t buffet mean you got to eat all you possibly could? Worse still, how about the time I went to Mr. Bigg’s from Lag and then I took some extra straws and napkins, like two or three, to use in my room later on? How about an employee ran after me and caught up with me as I was getting in my car and asked for the extra napkins? I just handed them over and drove off. That was more annoying than embarrassing, can’t imagine a Burger King employee harassing me about taking extra napkins.

Yesterday, I got to class with just a few minutes to time and to my dismay, some koko head had taken my spot. There wasn’t really any place to sit and I hate to sit in the very front row. I stood in front of the class for a long minute searching for a place to sit, not wanting to sit by Julie and her crew – more on her later. Turns out, the only place to sit was right in front of the class by this chic-looking Ghanaian girl just a row up from them Julie. I hesitated some more because I knew that whatever seat I chose would most likely be my seat for the rest of the semester and I wasn't sure I wanted to sit right there a hair's breath away from my nemesis. Plus, the front row is for suckers, and I sure ain’t one. Unfortunately, there weren’t any seats in my preferred row (second row) or even way in the back so after all my original drama, I took the seat next to Ms. Ghana and sat through the first half of class. As soon as the prof called for a break, I bolted out to use my cell phone in the hallway, took a quick bathroom break and guess what? My zipper had been down the whole time! Way down. As in, down. I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Ain’t karma a snitch? The day I decide to act overly dramatic about where to sit and I stand in front of the entire class longer than necessary, my zipper is down. I just pulled up the darn thing and headed back to class. Nice way to bring me back to earth.