Our Money

When it comes to many things in my life, I don't believe too many people are the boss of me. I like to think that I am my own oga (boss) in a lot of ways. However, since we got married and decided that my money was his money and his money was my money, the concept of our money has been a little difficult to grasp. It makes me accountable to him and vice versa. It has been frustrating for the two of us but we still think it is important to maintain the 'our' money thing. We each have separate individual accounts but the bulk of 'our' money is in 'our' account. Decisions that I would have made on my own in the past are now made by us because it involves our money.

The reality is that I can't have it all. I want to maintain a certain level of independence yet I want to be a partner in my relationship. Take impromptu shopping for instance, I want to be able to go shopping (and I still do) and blow tons of money without a care in the world if I feel like. The truth is that I can't do that because it is our money that I will be blowing away. Obviously, one of the benefits of the 'our' money method is that it prevents me from overspending. Not that I was ever a big spender in my past life but at least I did whatever I pleased knowing that I would face the consequences, if any.

We don't have a hard number but I think $300 is where we pull the plug. I was at Bloomingdales over the weekend shopping the pre-sale ahead of the pre-sale. The sale is today, by the way, but my new friend there helped me hoard some shoes on Saturday so that sticky fingers wouldn't touch them when the sale goes live some time today. Anyhow, I picked up maybe three pairs of shoes and then I had to catch myself. I had to make a quick decision about whether or not my impromptu shopping would raise a question when I got home. One can't get away with simply hiding shopping bags these days of online banking and what not. The truth eventually comes out. In the end, I had to make do with two pairs instead of three. What point am I trying to make exactly? I don't know, I guess the 'our' money thing keeps me in check. It is still frustrating. I envy people that do as they please because they keep separate accounts from their spouses.

However, knowing that there are women out there somewhere that are unaware of the financial situation in their household makes me feel somewhat lucky that I at least have 'access' even though I may not get to do as I please. I take consolation in the fact that I am not in the dark about our finances. I should feel good about the fact that I don't have to worry about my husband buying a Mercedes behind my back only for us to have to drink garri for months on end. Unfortunately, I haven't hit that point of understanding yet. I am still coming to grips with how this our money thing should work in real life.