Telling my side of the story

WARNING: I'm not that deep.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Confessions: Mine and Middle Schoolers

My confessions:
  • Last night, I had trouble going back to sleep so I got out a tub of chocolate ice cream that has been sitting in my freezer for like a month and ate three quarters of it! I sure did. Not only that, I ate it straight from the tub (something I NEVER do) and splashed chocolate syrup on top of it before digging in.
  • Since I couldn't sleep, I stayed up till almost two in the morning watching Middle School Confessions on HBO. That really had me troubled. I watched most of it, TIVOed the rest and went to bed truly disturbed.
  • I didn't want to get up this morning. Scratch that. I couldn't get up this morning. It was really hard waking up around 8:30.
  • Finally, in my groggy state, I locked myself out of the house and because I didn't feel like asking Baba Porter (again) to let me back in, I just went to work like that. Needless to say, I can't get in the house until after 10 tonight when DH and I get back from class so I won't be going home between work and school to watch Oprah or take a nap. Too bad.

On to the point of this post. That episode (I don't know if it's a series) of Middle School Confessions was about issues affecting children between 11 and 14. They interviewed a bunch of kids in that age group who talked candidly about sex, depression, violence, alchohol abuse, family life, etc. Man, every parent, aspiring parent, or plain simple concerned citizen ought to watch that show. It was truly bothersome. What those kids are doing, thinking, going through, is mindblowing. One of the kids that struck me was Miri Rae, a sweet looking be-spectacled 12-year old who says she is gay. She didn't say that she'd had any encounters with another girl other than she had found herself liking another girl. My thing was this, how could she be so sure? They also featured a 14 year old boy who had already gone all the way with another boy and was definitely sure he was gay. I was just left confused about Miri Rae. Did she jump into conclusions or is she really gay? I don't know. Her mom too wanted her to be open minded and not be in a hurry to label herself because of how she would be judged by society. Life's hard as it is.

Another person that worried me was Orlando, a bi-racial 14 year old whose dad is in jail and his mom and high school counselor were doing their best to put him on the right track. He skips school, smokes, drinks, and hangs out with older guys who could very well be drug dealers. This is a prime example of a boy that needs some serious intervention if not, he'll be laying dead in an alley somewhere. His mom seems to have lost total control of him. She didn't seem strong enough. She said the system has failed him. Has she failed him? She let him out of the house and said "Stay out of trouble" when he wanted to hit the streets after skipping school for the day. Stay out of trouble? He was going to look for trouble! As soon as he was out of the house, he was back on the streets hanging out with the no-good crowd, smoking and drinking.

Then the next group I remember are what I would tag the 'silly' girls. They are in fact really silly. These are 12 year old girls who casually engage in oral sex and other very intimate acts with boys so that the boys can like them. They haven't gone all the way yet but it won't be long if they keep going the way they are. I wonder where their sense of self-esteem is? Somebody needs to take those girls aside and tell them what they are really worth. It is a sad state of affairs for girls if they feel like the best way for boys to like them is to let them touch them. Of course they will like them, but not for long! It's going to be on to the next girl when they are done with them. Man, someone needs to teach them the same lessons I was taught - hold yourself to high standards, don't give it up easily, etc. All that's missing these days. I sound old but these girls are 12 for crying out loud. One of them's going to be dealing with pregnancy soon and their moms had better take notice!

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6 Comments:

Blogger Pilgrimage to Self said...

This is exactly the sort of programme I would HATE to watch. Personally, I think most of these kids need a short, sharp wack between the ears. A little discipline goes a long way. Ooops, is that un-PC of me?

5:43 AM  
Blogger Olawunmi said...

this is the sort of reality check that parents need, and dread! yet it is the justification for every parent that has ever stifled their offsprings' attempts to live some sort of youthful existence. there is a balance there, between bieng too protective, and being non-chalant about your child's welfare, but i'd rather err on the side of caution.

i still think that a lot of the ill that goes on in those societies happens because the basic fibre of discipline has sadly disappeared from the main places where you would ordinarily find it: at home, and in school. spare the rod, and watch that child go bad before your eyes.

it is heartbreaking to see the stuff that young children do o.

7:45 AM  
Blogger chioma said...

yep..i agree with the last lady such stuff is heart breaking..and the parents dont have the liver to discipline their kids. Imagine me skipping school and my mama will let me out and say "stay out of trouble". man parenting aint for cowards tough love is very necessaary.Alot of parents r scared if they are tough with their kids they wont love em..so they just pretend they don;t know whats going on. God help us

9:54 AM  
Anonymous Poe said...

Personally, I loved Miri. She reminded me alot of myself at that age.( Although I was 100% sure I liked girls at a slightly younger age...seven.) I had only kissed a girl once and was completely sure I was a lesbian. I grew up in a "christian conservative" school with "cc" parents and "cc" friends- so there goes the opposing sides "nurture" bit. So beside that one brief contact, I relate to her- you know just because you... Know. It's born into you. When you look at another girl and go "wowza" in the the way that you "should" be with a boy, chances are astronomical that you're NOT a lesbian. But if you're really concerned, you have her name and google and about 8 years missing between when the doc was shot and now- so go searching!

1:54 AM  
Anonymous Alex said...

Most middle schools, as far as I know, are not like that. There are a few kids who do things in that catergory, but most do not. I think HBO interviewed thousands of middle-school students, took the rare cases, and made a dramatic documentary about it.
Now, that isn't to say it wasn't good. I've seen it. Middle School Confessions was both heartbreaking and touching, but I don't believe that's standard for all middle schools. I just don't want someone to misunderstand.

8:39 PM  
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