Flirting with 160
I'm flirting with 160 these days. I'm steadily becoming friends with this number. It's hard to imagine that when I was shaping up for my wedding, I was embarrassed by 147 when I stepped on the scale in front of others at the gym. It's funny how I remember every weight from age 15 and up. Weight is something we talk about constantly in my family - particularly on my mom's side. We seem obsessed with the scale. On my mom's side, thinner was better. On my dad's side thick wasn't bad at all. Right now, thick ain't that great for me. I definitely feel thick for the first time in my life. I've always been considered thin but right now, I've moved way past my size 4 roots. I chilled with 6 for a very long time. In fact, I was happy to be a 6. It felt like such a nice size for a woman. Nothing to be embarrassed by if asked for one's size. I dealt with 8 for what seems like a minute and a couple of weeks ago, tried on a pair of pants in an unbelievable 10! I've definitely got to do something. I'm in a battle that's both mental and physical. Mental because it's causing distress - I'm not digging the way I look these days. And physical cause it's a lot of work and nothing seems to be working. I must admit that I love food and only work out when I feel like it. I really do have a love-love relationship with food. Nothing to be bitter about. I only eat what I love. Even when I'm consciously eating salads and soups, I make it pleasurable. It would be torture for me to eat something I actually do not enjoy.
When speaking about weight loss, Oprah often says it's a decision that you must make. A decision. Meaning, something happens in your head and you say enough is enough. That happened a couple of weeks ago and I hit the gym three days in a row. Right now, I'm back to not feeling like it. I'm in a little bit of rut and have to find something that works. It'll most likely be a combination of cardio and weight training. On the days I go to the gym, I feel like I've conquered something. It's that much of a struggle. If I spend time debating it, I lose to self. Meaning that I don't hit the gym. This spring, I'll go back to activities I enjoy - walking, biking, and working out with friends. It was easier for me when I had a group of girls to work out with. Made it less dreary. I might also go back to journaling my meals so that I see what I'm doing. Keeping a food journal in the past helped me visualize my eating patterns. I liked doing fitday because it showed my intake of protein, carbs and fat. With fitday, I made a conscious effort to eat better cause I love a challenge and liked to see that I was eating right and within the goals I had set for myself. It would be good to leave this 160 alone for real.
posted by Gbemi's Piece @ 3:04 AM
2 Comments:
Thanks for your nice comments, Ohalei. It's funny that you mentioned that you're in Cotonou. I know the place quite well. You shouldn't find it too hard to join a gym there. I believe there's one at El Dorado and other hotels depending on what part of town you're in. I've heard that food is 80% of the battle. If you can eat well and incorporate some exercise into your lifestyle, you should see some change. Attitude is everything, so don't be discouraged. It's all about making a conscious decision to change what it is that you don't like. Also, everyone is different and you should only do what works for you. I did a variation of the South Beach diet and lost eight pounds after that post. These days, I try to make healthier choices about food. For instance, I had broccoli and potatoes for lunch, and had rice, cabbage and fish for dinner. Yes, I eat carbs, but whatever. I just try to do the best I can. I work out as much as I can which is sometimes five times a week and sometimes twice a week. Whatever works, you know. About the tummy area, my old gym instructor would often tell women that they cannot have a trim stomach by doing crunches alone. Apparently, it happens as one loses weight and the stomach muscles can be strengthened by doing crunches. You seem to have a strong supporter in your fiance and it's always nice to surround oneself with positive people. Just keep doing what you can, stay consistent and call on me if you ever need a buddy. Goodluck!
Gbemi
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